Its the worse when..

You have this sexy man, who is a prefect catch, staring at you , both of you knowing your not compatible or are in two different places in your life. The prefect catch being a nice, caring young man who is focused, smart, attractive, interesting, not only interested in men, connected, totally OK with himself, who likes to move his body, loves his family, and who will go listen to house music with you, because he some what enjoys it. When you have similar morals and belief, but one person is a night owl and the other is a early riser, things don't seem to always work out. Yet, Its such a shame , when you know that you could or would give up your life style for such a catch, but in the end the relationship would never last. One of you would be unhappy, because you weren't living the truth you felt you need to experience. Trust me when I say this, I've been there.

It just can be so frustrating, when you seem to be into completely the wrong guys. I think I've come to learn there is something you can learn from everyone. Also, You might be getting just that same vibe you put out to others. For example, you're a fun smart person who likes to let loose sometimes and get wild like an animal, but maybe the real honest truth is your not ready for the intense commitment and real thing just yet. Maybe you'll looking to have fun, get to know yourself a little more and maybe that fun intimate partner in crime can one day turn into the real thing. Or maybe you will just fall into something  and not even realize it. It could so happen you're just into the player time and sometimes you might just get player. No matter if you staring at the prefect catch or just some guy who has the ball, you should always follow your heart and how someone makes you feel, because in the end that is where the true chemistry lays.  

Cheers, Here's to love and an awesome new friendship with a prefect catch. Try your hardest not to be afraid to love, because its totally OK to be in love with someone. 

XO, 

Andy

Climbing partner

Recently I joined Planet Granite and started rock climbing, meaning I only boulder for now and I only go like once a week :/.  Anyhow, It is a great workout and lots of fun. It stimulates the mind and body. I love the challenge. The climbing community has intrigued  me and how it relates to meeting people.

I noticed whenever I meet new people, especially guys, we get on the subject of climbing, and they always mention how they are looking for a climbing partner. I know literally they mean they just want someone who will just belay them, but sometimes it feels like there's a deeper meaning behind it. It's as if they are putting it all out there, right away and straight to the point. Is it a sign of commitment? It totally feels like there is this underlining message, as if they mean business.  Like, "I don't fuck around, I'm a climber. I'm looking for someone who is just as serious about this sport/hobby as me, do you think you could commit to that?" Or,  "I'm looking for a climbing partner and I go a few times a week. What do you think? Want to meet up?"

Honestly, I have no idea how to take this statement. I freeze up and just say I'm a newbie who only boulders. Maybe that is a big sign that I don't know how to be a WE, but just only a ME.  Either way, I don't know if I'm ready to commitment to climbing with someone yet. It appears to be a lot of pressure. Then not only are you committing to that person, but you have to commitment to the sport by buying gear and all that jazz. Don't get me wrong, when I like some thing, I'm all about the commitment, sign me up. But, when you're just getting your feet wet in the shallow end,  it can be intimidating when a sexy men says he is looking for a climbing partner as he stares at you. It makes me just want to run the other direction and hide in a hole.

Maybe it some mental and physical push I just have to get over, just like climbing. You don't get better if you don't practice, right? Here's to completely a V2 next climb!

Dropping a bottle of hearts....

"Go where your heat takes you... Listen to your feelings and trust them. Let them guide you through life and it's choices. You might just find what you are looking for!," read the wine bottle called The Flying Heart. How could you resist buying a bottle that speaks to you this much, especially when your at a cross roads between your heart and your head. I should of seen the red flags when the clerk told me the wine was a little on the sweet side for a red, typically I favor more the bolt. Choosing the right bottle of wine can be just as important as choosing the right guy; However,  it appears getting the guy back to your pad is a lot easier then getting the right bottle home.

As I crossed the street, I thought to myself, I should be careful how I'm holding this bag. Right in that moment, yup, a bottle fell in the middle of the inner section, so I yelled in frustration. Luckily, it was just a little damaged. I went to grab the rest of my belongs, while holding the bottle between my legs. Then again the bottle fell, neck first, causing a crack big enough to create a leak. The question left on my mind was, "I hope the second bottle is worth it, and its not just a pretty face."

After getting home, it was time to open the thing and get the night started. As I assumed, the drama wasn't worth the pop. The bottle of wine was so confused. It didn't know what to be, sweet or tangy. So not only did my first heart crack in the middle of the street, but the second was a bust. Leaving me without any satisfaction for my efforts, it just so happens the Flying Heart was nothing more then a beautiful bottle with a miss leading inspiration.

 Walking home with a paper bag with two bottle of wine, is like wearing your heart on your sleeve. You have to thread lightly, when at a crossroad, or else you might end up with a bottle that isn't so tasty. The one paper bag that decides it wants to bail on you, teaches us that you should double bag your wine , when walking it home. Also, stop buying bottles, because they sound to good to be true. 

Sex and the city

So recently, I have been aware of the fact that I've been writing a blog that seems to be a ripe off of Carrie Bradshaw's column from sex in the city. But to honest, up until a few weeks ago, I had only seen about five episodes and the movie. I happen to be completely unaware I was mimicking a TV show, well at least consciously. I was possessed to watch all the session from start to finish, because a friend of mine told me if I wanted dating advice I need to start there. For some strange reason I took this advice. After about many hours and dollars spend on Amazon instant watch, I finished all 6 sessions about a week ago.

I came to realize that I was a mixture of all the leading women, but I feel most women are. I mean it wont have been a hit show in the 90's if single women couldn't relate to it. Yet, I related mostly to Samantha and Carrie, but mostly Carrie. Maybe it was for the fact that I have a blog, write and talk mostly about boys, well now I think I'm truly moving on to men. However, besides keeping an online dairy about my personal interaction with the opposite sex, I put the pieces together and realized I seem to have the same dating style as the main character. When it comes to having a good guy be into me I push them away by being crazy, or in some cases change who I am to please and keep a relationship with a man. For example, when Carrie stops smoking cigs for Aidan, or like the time when she was into the artist and he treated her like a prince yet their just was no spark. I seem to be into the guys I cant have, or the ones who wont ever be the one you want or need. But yet, Carrie cant seem to get Mr. Big out of her mind space and continuly goes back to him after all the hurtful and disrespectful things he does to her . All Carrie's friends dislike Big, except for good old Charlotte. Charlotte is the only one who thinks they were met to be. Well most of us know how it ends up, they get married.

Yet, that is such fiction. Here's to the real thing

Appearances are everything

Have you ever left your house without your face on or in your pj's? How did it make you feel? I use to think it never matter. I always figured if you ran into the love of your life, while buying items at your corner store in your pj's and no makeup on it, shouldn't phase anyone. That future husband or friend should be able to expect you at your worst and at you're best, yes this is true; however, I've been enlightened. I won't want to approach or start up a convo with the smelly person next to me, and as they say do onto others as you'd want done to you. It seems first impressions are more important that I had given them credit for. One should be in the best form when meeting new people, that increases the chance of someone wanting to have a second interaction with you.

As I traveled through the south of the united states, I notice all the women around appear to be in the best form, while I ran around with my comfy clothes on and the makeup  from the day lingering on my eyes. I felt inadequate and not with the highest self esteem. I think how we view ourselves contributes a lot to our self worth. It shows others what you think of yourself and how you want to be interpreted. No matter how funny, smart, and caring you are, no one will be able to get to see that when the first thing they notice is this girl doesn't care about herself enough to be presentable. Now I understand why my roomies never want to go to the store in the pj's, because you never know who ya'll run into going down the allies.

My biggest female role model in my life, my mother, brought it to my attention how I have left my inner hippie become my outer self. As, she says, “it looks like every time I see you, you look like never shower.” I guess I was saving getting ready for special occasions. While San Francisco has shown me a side of myself I wanted to embrace more then I knew, one shouldn't be so extreme even if you are. Its kind of a turn off. There is nothing wrong with having hippie morals and still showering, use those ideologies when shopping down the allies at your corner store. You never know when that special moment will come. P.S, If your 12 older cousin who is a tom boy can still mange to get up everyday and get cute, so can you. First role to finding the man of your dreams, be ready anytime for him to walk into life. But wearing makeup to the gym just wont ever happen for this girl, sorry, there is no need to clog anymore of my pores. Here's to any moment being ready for any special moment and finding your ideal love.

Cheers.

Would I know who you were if I ran into you on the street?

I would hope so. If not, I hope the author of this love letter hears what he has been waiting for, which sounds like it was awhile ago. I found this note on the ground at the second connection on my way to work.

first half of the note

the second half

This happen to be right in front of the bus stop. How cute! Now that is love...One day until then.

xoxo

Where does intuition come into play with matters of the heart?

I try to follow my heart, but I tend to not bring my brain a long with me in moments when I should. I think its, because I'm always in my mind. My obsession with romance or intense feelings, help me get out of my own prison.  Yet, when I let myself go, feel, and then react, the out come seems to go against my intuition or vision. I guess, it's because you don't have control  over how others react to a situation or how they feel. Hey, maybe they just want one thing, or maybe they felt what you felt and it scared them. I'm going to hope for the latter. Why, because I'm a hopeless romantic, who let it go once; yet, we reconnected on the dance floor, one of the most rhythm places to rekindle a flame.

I'm pretty sure we have all meet that one person, who no matter what, you want to go back to them. It's not just that they are beautiful or handsome, but, because, there is something that  attracts you to them, like a magnetic, maybe they are the cation to your anion. Besides  the polar bond, they have qualities that are important to you. A sensitive side, which must of sucked me in, because I find it so sexy, or maybe that awkward dorkiness puts a smile on my face.  I love that you are rough around the edges too. But, maybe I'm attracted to the comfort of being completely who I am around you. Or how I  am constantly on my toes trying to read you. Obsessed much? Um I won't call it an obsession, maybe passion.


 If friends are all we can be, can we at least be good friends who care for one another? P.S., can you really teach me to DJ? I don't need another partner in crime. Amy Winehouse did sing it best, "Stop making a fool out of me;" however, she did die from an overdose. RIP. But this time, I'm not going to let you make a fool out of me. Google,  is my preventive tool.  I think it proved to me I was just another score on the board. But sometimes miracles happen, Here's to Hope.


With unconditional love,
XOXO